'The Win Is Never The Goal': Why Competitors Pursue The 6 Events

The particular feat of having a career win in each of the events at Wonderboy took off after Milton entrepreneur Greg Doan reportedly became the first competitor to do so in 2016. He popularized a version of the challenge that includes Tug-of-War, Crokinole, Euchre, Ping Pong, Darts and Poker. Since then, the exact event list has been a topic of debate. Today, a version called the Little List, named after Canadian outdoorsman Alex Little, is considered the most legitimate in the Wonderboy community. It takes into account the original six events when determining wins, swapping the Crokinole event from Doan’s list for Logsaw.

Mike Desroches didn't set out to win all six events over his career — a trait that is surprisingly common among competitors at Wonderboy. He began competing when his brother invited him to Wonderboy in 2004 — a daunting tournament even for seasoned players. Having just gone through a job change in his 30s and feeling like his life resembled a "big dumpster fire," Desroches thought there wasn't anything holding him back.

"If I hadn't been at such a low point in my life, I probably never would have won poker," Desroches said. "At some point it just occurred to me that I had nothing left to lose."

When Desroches got back from Wolf Lake, he got a tattoo of a poker chip to remember his adventure and decided to quit competing. But eleven months later, he said he felt a calling to attend another tournament, and made plans for Wonderboy 2005. In the fourteen years that it took him to win the rest of the six events on the Doan List, Desroches said he backed away from the tournament several times, but the emotional rejuvenation he experienced with each win always made him return.

"What happened was each time I did win one of these events, there would be this rich lesson that would come out of it that was immediately relevant," Desroches said. "It became this fifteen-year conversation between the events and my personal life."

Stories of how Wonderboy can foster intense personal growth, however, don't diminish the elements of extreme danger prevalent in the most common Wonderboy narratives. Each February brings tournament-related afflictions as dozens of people attempt to win the nearly 30-inch trophy.

Paul Trahan, who has wins in five events and led an all-Calgary expedition to Wolf Lake in 2000, said part of what makes attending Wonderboy so dangerous is that competitors can become consumed with blind desire to get the win and will ignore crucial signs of exhaustion or hazardous conditions. In his 2006 attempt in Poker, Trahan had to make an early exit only two players from the top because of inebriation, a decision that prioritized safety over winning.

"What you have to remember in the decision-making process is that the win is only the halfway point," Trahan said. "The win is never the goal. Ever. The number one goal is always to come back alive."

A local favourite, Steve Pate says it's necessary to constantly analyze risks is when competing in games as severe as the six events, and that most people grapple with the possibility of inebriation before they start an event. Each serious competition is made up of conscious choices that he believes aren't always acknowledged in stories about Wonderboy, and Poker in particular.

"I do think that sometimes gets lost in the mix, when people just talk about the beer, they just talk about the hot tub, but there are actually a lot more decisions in between those points and in addition to those factors that do contribute to the outcome," Pate said.

Though the perceived point of the Six Events Club is to have a career win in each of Wonderboy’s events, those who have completed this challenge often don't cite winning as the most formative experience. What stands out, according to Little, Desroches and Doan, isn't the glory that comes with looking down from the top of the podium. It was everything that led up to it.

When Trahan returns to Wolf Lake seven years after his last attempt, he will be trying to finally win at Euchre — his last on the challenge's list. But, he says, he finds the act of winning itself somewhat underwhelming.

"When I did make it to the winner’s podium, what I realized is that standing on the stage, talking into a fake microphone, it doesn't change you and doesn't change the world," Trahan said. "It's really about the journey, the journey is the most important thing in any event."

As previous Wonderboy tournaments have shown, extreme competitiveness, especially in the form of a Six Events bid, poses significant risk. It's the powerful inner voice, though, that sets competitors on paths up the precarious Glamorgan Rd anyway and takes them beyond cementing themselves in this elite club.

"Bragging rights ain't gonna get you to the top of any of those podiums," Trahan said. "There's gotta be something much, much deeper inside of you that drives that quest."

Courtesy of Wikipedia:

The ‘Six Events’ are composed of winning each of the events in Wonderboy over the course of a career. Different lists include slight variations, but generally the same core is maintained. The six events depend on the definition used for an event:  the first is logsaw vs crokinole; and the second depends on whether one includes the Special, which is a now-retired event.

The modern era of Wonderboy began in 2001, when record keeping was digitized.  Prior to 2001, Wonderboy administrators kept track of the tournament on clay tablets.  These tablets were later re-used in the building of a retaining wall for the volleyball court, the event details forever lost.  Thus the Six Events are looked at only in the modern era of Wonderboy.

The ‘Little List’ is comprised of the original six events in Wonderboy: tug-of-war, logsaw, euchre, poker, pingpong and darts.  The list is named after Alex Little, the first (and only) competitor to complete wins in all six events.  Alex achieved this milestone at WB 2019 with his victory with in pingpong.  There are seven competitors who are one victory away from joining the Six Events Club: Alain Charlebois (needing a win in poker), Eric D’Souza (euchre), Kirk Cooper (pingpong), Greg Doan (logsaw), Mike Desroches (logsaw), Steve Pate (pingpong) and Paul Trahan (euchre).

There is also an alternate six-event list, the so-called ‘Doan List’.  This list swaps out logsaw for crokinole (an option now available to competitors during the tournament).  Greg Doan was the first to complete the Doan List with his poker triumph in 2016; Mike Desroches followed two years, winning both pingpong and crokinole in 2018.  Detractors suggest that the Doan List should be limited to those who have never competed in logsaw.  Otherwise it’s like throwing spaghetti at a wall and seeing which six events stick.

The addition of crokinole as an event in WB2013 gave rise to another list called the ‘Seven Events’.  No one in the history of Wonderboy has ever recorded a victory in all seven events.  There are five competitors just one victory away from completing the career heptalogy:  Alain Charlebois (needing a win in poker), Greg Doan (logsaw), Mike Desroches (logsaw), Steve Pate (pingpong) and Alex Little (crokinole).  Messrs. Doan, Desroches and Little don’t usually compete in their remaining event, leaving Charlebois and Pate as the competitors most likely to be the first to join the Seven Events Club.  Historically, Steve Pate has only two points in his career in pingpong; the smart money is on Charlebois to be the first to seven.

Five competitors have points in the Special:  Eric D’Souza, Ryan Lumbard, Steve Pate, Kelly Jones and Guy Pate.  The Special event was effectively discontinued in WB2014; the Wonderboy Events Committee formally retired the Special following a comprehensive events review in 2019.

Public support sought in petition to ban funny dealing in Euchre

After launching a public campaign in November to ban funny dealing in Euchre, the AFRAID organization (Against Funny, Random And Inconsistent Dealing) is asking the public to keep that momentum going.

According to a media release issued by AFRAID on Jan. 30, spokesperson Steve Burritt said “tremendous support” has been received from Wonderboy competitors and dealers, and there’s now a change.org petition they can sign to further the cause.

“ … Our vision for Euchre is Hoyle-approved dealing to improve card flow, decrease confusion and allow for more consistent counting of cards,” he noted in the release.

Said Burritt, “According to Hoyle's Rules of Games, 3rd Revised and Updated Edition, 2001, pages 179 – 181, under the heading ‘The Deal’ it states that ‘Each player receives five cards, dealt in batches of 3-2 or 2-3. The dealer must adhere to whichever plan he commences.’  So it’s quite clear that you can’t alternate between clockwise then counterclockwise, or deal 2-3-2-3 then 3-2-3-2, or whatever other nonsense some dealers dream up.”

Communications co-ordinator Jill Sturdy said the only criteria needed to sign the petition is internet access. “It’s a good time to remind people that we need their support,” she said.

“We had very positive discussions with representatives from the Wonderboy Rules Committee and they included both Euchre Dealing sub-committee representatives as well as departmental bureaucrats,” she said. “They were quite intrigued actually by the community campaign when we told them about it and that we’ve got a whole community with a very diverse group of competitors and dealers who are aware of the need for consistent dealing and quite engaged in that effort.”

Once the petition is closed, the plan is to contact Haliburton - Kawartha Lakes - Brock MP Jamie Schmale, so he can submit the comments for official record. “He could also stand up in the House of Commons and read it (petition) out loud,” Sturdy stated. “That would be another part of the strategy, that we request he do that.”

WB 2020 Reveals Progress on Sustainability

As Wolf Lake, the gleaming social capital of Haliburton County, gets ready to host the 2020 Wonderboy Tournament, sustainability is part of the agenda.

The athletes competing in the prestigious event will reportedly be sleeping on eco-friendly beds with frames made of recyclable cardboard. The mattresses will also be made of recyclable products, such as polyethylene materials that will be reused for plastic products once the Tournament has concluded.

The beds were presented for a media viewing on January 9 in a mock closet for scale.

There will be an estimated eighteen beds in Wolf Lake Lodge for the Tournament, which is set to begin on February 21. A smaller quantity will be needed for the Summer Games.

According to the Wonderboy website, this year’s Tournament will be organized on five pillars that make up the Tournament’s sustainability concept titled “Be better, together.” Those pillars include zero carbon emissions, zero waste, water management, reducing greenhouse gas emissions, and urban forestry.

In partnership with the Municipality of Highlands East, the Infrastructure and Environmental subcommittee will work to “deliver a sustainable Tournament and showcase solution models of global sustainability challenges to people in Haliburton County and around the world.”

There is an ongoing effort by the organizers of WB 2020 to make these games the most environmentally friendly WB tournament to date. Here's WB's progress on the five pillars:

Zero Carbon Emissions

It has been announced that WB 2020 Tournament will attempt to use only renewable energy to power the games. This includes powering all electronics in the venues, the athletes village and media centres. The government is continuing to install solar panels all across the Wolf Lake country side. David Panko, a participant attending this year's tournament on a sponsor's exemption, announced that he had purchased a Tesla Model X Performance with Ludicrous mode, specifically to make the drive to Wolf Lake.

Zero Waste

The WB organizing committee has instituted two policies to reduce waste.  The first policy requires that 50% of attendees must be previous Wonderboy winners, which dramatically cuts down on plastic beer cup usage.  The second policy mandates that Kirk Cooper will win every 1 in 5 years, which reduces WB stein requirements by 20%.  This has been the de facto process in prior years, now formalized in policy.

The tournament also announced that they will be reusing ping pong racquets from previous years.  In fact, the tournament has used the same racquets since the inaugural tournament in the last millennium. 

Water Management

Vodka waters, the ice making machine, and the hot tub all require a lot of water. WB 2020 has plans to not only look how to effectively calculate the necessary amount of water, but ways in which they can reduce water consumption. The most prominent is instituting an eight-person minimum for the hot tub, greatly reducing the amount of water required.

Reducing Greenhouse Gas Emissions

This year's absence of Colin Goheen should help considerably in the reduction of methane. In one year, the amount of methane Colin produces is equivalent to the greenhouse gas emissions from a mid-sized vehicle driven 20,000 kilometres.

The WB Food Advisory subcommittee has also entertained changing the menu on Friday night, which features chili con carne as the main course.

Urban Forestry

The WB Agriculture and Forestry subcommittee announced plans to replace every tree removed for the logsaw event with a new seedling.

Pickle Ball Proposed As Demonstration Event For WB 2021

An application has been made to include Pickle Ball as a demonstration event at the 2021 Wonderboy Tournament, Haliburton news site thehighlander.ca reported.

"We are also applying to the Wonderboy Events Subcommittee to include Pickle Ball in the summer games," said Pat Murphy, president of the International Federation of Pickleball (IFP).

The Wonderboy Events Subcommittee has been considering whether to remove outdoor events and add some indoor events, Murphy said.

In October, the IFP announced the idea of including Pickle Ball, a paddleball sport that combines elements of tennis, badminton, and table tennis. Two or four players use solid paddles made of wood or composite materials to hit a perforated polymer ball, similar to a Wiffle ball, over a net.

So far, the application has not been reviewed by the Wonderboy Events Subcommittee, Murphy said.

John Teravainen, president of the Highlands East League and also Director At Large for the IFP, said at a forum that the introduction of standardized equipment and the IFP Rating System had increased the uptake of the sport throughout the world.

"The Paddle Material Specifications have eliminated the contingency in Pickle Ball and helped promote it as a sport able to be accepted by Wonderboy players."

Teravainen also believed that the unified set of rules, normalization and the elimination of contingency and gambling in the game were important in promoting Pickle Ball as a sport.

The IFP has also organized the intercontinental Bainbridge Cup to promote the development of Pickle Ball across the globe. "Some countries' understanding of Pickle Ball is still weak," Murphy said. "We hope the Cup will encourage more athletes to pay attention to Pickle Ball development."

One continuing source of disagreement within the IFP is whether the sport should be called Pickleball or Pickle Ball.  The one-word faction point at the acronym, which is IFP and not IFPB.  (Ed. note - Wonderboy has avoided a similar controversy by strictly enforcing a one-word policy, except on the winner's trophy, engraved as 'Wolf Lake Wonder Boy Trophy')

In the meantime, the curious can sign up for Pickle Ball events on the Municipality of Highlands East website.

What One Photo Tells Us About Wonderboy Club’s internal structure

During the Cold War, lack of reliable information about Russia forced Western analysts to "read between the lines" and to use the tiniest tidbits, such as the removal of portraits, the rearranging of chairs, positions at the reviewing stand for parades in Red Square, the choice of capital or small initial letters in phrases such as "First Secretary", the arrangement of articles on the pages of the party newspaper Pravda and other indirect signs to try to understand what was happening in internal Soviet politics.

Experts who want to pierce the Wonderboy Club’s extreme secrecy have to be similarly creative. One surprisingly rich resource: the WB Club’s own propaganda, such as the photos on their website.

Images like this one might look silly, but they are rich with insights into the club’s social hierarchy and politics. By using high-tech forensics and traditional detective work, analysts and intelligence agencies can use photos to track Wonderboy Club’s internal politics and expanding programs with stunning granularity.

WB Steins

There are two WB Steins in this photo.  One is held prominently by Ryan Lumbard, standing near the top of the image.  Why is the stein held in such a visible location, a sort of 'Look at me! I am WB' kind of pose?  It may be that Ryan has feelings of insecurity about his win, given that he was a solo player in both ping pong and darts and was able to select Rico and Doaner, respectively, as partners.  Or maybe he got tired of being referred to as 'buddy' or 'dude', and has held his stein with the engraving showing his name, a sort of aristocratic 'My Name Is' tag for the plastic-cup-toting plebes to read.

Notice what’s absent: Wonderboy Steins in the hands of three other winners. In a tournament where propaganda sets reality, and the political hierarchy can be the difference between drinking from a stein or getting your name on the Horse's Ass trophy, such choices matter.

That’s why Michael Madden, an analyst, tracks non-appearances of Wonderboy Steins. Here, he spotted three key committee members: the head of the WB Microphone Subcommittee (Greg Desroches), the head of the Digital Subcommittee (Mike Desroches) and the head of Games (Kirk Cooper), all former WB winners, and all without their steins.

That sends a clear message: I'm tired of drinking beer and I don't care who's taking pictures.  Plus my win doesn't have an asterisk, and everyone knows my name so there's no need for me to show it on my stein.

Railing

There are three poker players and the dealer seated at the table.  Surrounding the poker table are seven other attendees, of which four are former WB winners.  On the mezzanine, held back by a solid wood railing, three attendees are visible, all non-winners.

Analysts are unsure about the railing. It could be a metaphoric wall that non-winners keeping butting their heads against, trying to get into the winner's circle. Some suspect it’s a safety feature used to prevent people from falling from the mezzanine to the lower floor; others say it could be used to hang towels after coming in from the hot tub. Analysts hope new images will emerge that will help them solve these riddles.

The Bandana

Scholars of WB state media recognize Greg Doan's bandana from official portrayals of his father, Papa Doan. The elder Doan is heavily celebrated in WB folklore and closely associated with the Horse's Ass Selection Committee. Greg Doan, by borrowing Howie's bandana, is sending a message that male pattern baldness is hereditary.

Such details help scholars to understand how Mr. Doan is constructing his image. By mimicking his father, he is implicitly breaking with Greg Desroches, who tends to wear toques. Instead, Mr. Doan is asserting himself as the bandana wearer. This pose can help experts better understand the Club's internal dynamics and how it might behave.

The Crokinole Boards

Even a glimpse of the crokinole boards in the background reveals important information. David Schmerler, with the Center for Guys Weekend Studies, noticed the white lettering, which says “Canadian Tire”.  This indicates that the event is under-funded, which likely means that it has a lower profile than other events.  A quick search on the web shows that Canadian Tire doesn't even carry crokinole boards.  Is the board a homemade version with the words 'Canadian Tire' written with a Sharpie an inside joke?  Or a desperate plea for funding?  What is known is that the WB Finance Committee members are all logsaw competitors.

WB finalizes crokinole replay challenge rule for 2020

There are major changes coming to WB's replay review system next tournament. The Crokinole Competition Subcommittee announced that they will implement a Player's Challenge system one a one-year trial basis for the 2020 tournament.

The WB Board of Governors today unanimously approved two changes to instant replay rules. The first change is the introduction of a Player's Challenge to trigger instant replay review of a limited set of matters.

The second change enables the WB Replay Center (in addition to the on-floor referees) to trigger instant replay in certain circumstances. The process, which was successfully tested at Panko Resorts WB Summer League 2019 and is being used again at this year's event, will be implemented for the 2020 WB Tournament.

According to a report from Shams Charania, the system will not use physical flags such as they use in the NFL, but rather the challenge would be initiated via the player throwing a Dorito in the salt and vinegar chip bowl.

Additional reporting from Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN indicates that players will be allowed to challenge a variety of calls, including seat violations, which is perhaps the most interesting aspect of this plan. Whereas Touch 20's and Hog Line calls are objective, many seat violation calls are quite subjective.

Last month, ESPN's Zach Lowe reported on further details of the plan ahead of its implementation during Summer League. Players will get one challenge per game, and will lose it regardless of whether or not they are successful. In addition, Lowe noted that the crew chief will have final say in challenges involving seat violations, while all other decisions will be made by the replay centre.

There will probably be some growing pains with this new process, and it will be interesting to see how it all unfolds next tournament.

Drinking and Darts: Does Alcohol Improve Performance?

These days, darts is a professional, sober affair, at least for the players. But some of the champions of the past were famous for their boozing. Can alcohol ever enhance people's ability to play darts?

The answer depends on how nervous you are, and whether or not you're addicted to alcohol.

Many studies have shown that even low levels of alcohol can impair motor skills and spatial reasoning.

But the effects of nervousness and alcohol withdrawal can be far worse, especially in a game like darts.

"For some people, low levels of alcohol improve performance of tasks. It does reduce anxiety and nervousness so if you're impaired by nervousness it can improve performance," Prof Robert Adron Harris, from the University of Texas at Austin, told the BBC.

A degree of stress actually enhances performance, but after a certain point, nerves get the better of people. This is known as the Yerkes-Dodson law.

In pub games, the stakes may be lower, but even amateurs find that the oche holds a strange power over them.

"Nervousness runs right through the sport, as does the belief that alcohol solves the problem," says Paul Gillings, who runs The Darts Performance Centre, a training centre and advice website. "Players totally believe that they can't play unless they have a drink. It ranges from one drink to 10."

He discourages this sort of self-medication, advocating relaxation exercises and positive thinking. He also reminds players that in the grand scheme of things, it's only a game of darts.

John Thomas - or "Jocky" - Wilson, one of the top players of the 1980s, took it to extremes. He said he needed seven or eight vodkas to steady his nerves before playing.

He once fell off the stage at the end of a match.

Before winning the 2004 BDO World Darts Championship, Andy Fordham reportedly drank 24 bottles of beer along with quite a bit of brandy.

He said in an interview later that people never saw him sober. He weighed 31 stone and developed cirrhosis of the liver.

Fordham, who was also known as The Viking, believed that heavy drinking was the only way he could concentrate - and he was probably right.

For someone who is used to drinking as much as he was, it would be very difficult to play sober.

"The more you drink, the more tolerance to alcohol increases," says Anya Topiwala, a senior clinical researcher at the University of Oxford. "Alcohol withdrawal causes anxiety, tremors and sweatiness, all of which I suspect would make it harder to play darts."

But experts agree that players like Fordham and Wilson won matches in spite of their drinking habits, not because of them.

"There's too much money involved now for players to get themselves too pie-eyed," says David King, who runs Darts501, a darts information website.

He says the sport needs more trainers and psychologists to help people get over stage fright, shaky hands and even a nasty psychological condition known as dartitis, where players find themselves unable to throw a dart.

So alcohol doesn't make most people better at darts, but while the pub remains the best place to practise, aspiring players may need to resist round-the-clock sessions, especially if they're of a nervous disposition.

Note:  This article first appeared in the BBC and is reprinted without permission