What One Photo Tells Us About Wonderboy Club’s internal structure

During the Cold War, lack of reliable information about Russia forced Western analysts to "read between the lines" and to use the tiniest tidbits, such as the removal of portraits, the rearranging of chairs, positions at the reviewing stand for parades in Red Square, the choice of capital or small initial letters in phrases such as "First Secretary", the arrangement of articles on the pages of the party newspaper Pravda and other indirect signs to try to understand what was happening in internal Soviet politics.

Experts who want to pierce the Wonderboy Club’s extreme secrecy have to be similarly creative. One surprisingly rich resource: the WB Club’s own propaganda, such as the photos on their website.

Images like this one might look silly, but they are rich with insights into the club’s social hierarchy and politics. By using high-tech forensics and traditional detective work, analysts and intelligence agencies can use photos to track Wonderboy Club’s internal politics and expanding programs with stunning granularity.

WB Steins

There are two WB Steins in this photo.  One is held prominently by Ryan Lumbard, standing near the top of the image.  Why is the stein held in such a visible location, a sort of 'Look at me! I am WB' kind of pose?  It may be that Ryan has feelings of insecurity about his win, given that he was a solo player in both ping pong and darts and was able to select Rico and Doaner, respectively, as partners.  Or maybe he got tired of being referred to as 'buddy' or 'dude', and has held his stein with the engraving showing his name, a sort of aristocratic 'My Name Is' tag for the plastic-cup-toting plebes to read.

Notice what’s absent: Wonderboy Steins in the hands of three other winners. In a tournament where propaganda sets reality, and the political hierarchy can be the difference between drinking from a stein or getting your name on the Horse's Ass trophy, such choices matter.

That’s why Michael Madden, an analyst, tracks non-appearances of Wonderboy Steins. Here, he spotted three key committee members: the head of the WB Microphone Subcommittee (Greg Desroches), the head of the Digital Subcommittee (Mike Desroches) and the head of Games (Kirk Cooper), all former WB winners, and all without their steins.

That sends a clear message: I'm tired of drinking beer and I don't care who's taking pictures.  Plus my win doesn't have an asterisk, and everyone knows my name so there's no need for me to show it on my stein.

Railing

There are three poker players and the dealer seated at the table.  Surrounding the poker table are seven other attendees, of which four are former WB winners.  On the mezzanine, held back by a solid wood railing, three attendees are visible, all non-winners.

Analysts are unsure about the railing. It could be a metaphoric wall that non-winners keeping butting their heads against, trying to get into the winner's circle. Some suspect it’s a safety feature used to prevent people from falling from the mezzanine to the lower floor; others say it could be used to hang towels after coming in from the hot tub. Analysts hope new images will emerge that will help them solve these riddles.

The Bandana

Scholars of WB state media recognize Greg Doan's bandana from official portrayals of his father, Papa Doan. The elder Doan is heavily celebrated in WB folklore and closely associated with the Horse's Ass Selection Committee. Greg Doan, by borrowing Howie's bandana, is sending a message that male pattern baldness is hereditary.

Such details help scholars to understand how Mr. Doan is constructing his image. By mimicking his father, he is implicitly breaking with Greg Desroches, who tends to wear toques. Instead, Mr. Doan is asserting himself as the bandana wearer. This pose can help experts better understand the Club's internal dynamics and how it might behave.

The Crokinole Boards

Even a glimpse of the crokinole boards in the background reveals important information. David Schmerler, with the Center for Guys Weekend Studies, noticed the white lettering, which says “Canadian Tire”.  This indicates that the event is under-funded, which likely means that it has a lower profile than other events.  A quick search on the web shows that Canadian Tire doesn't even carry crokinole boards.  Is the board a homemade version with the words 'Canadian Tire' written with a Sharpie an inside joke?  Or a desperate plea for funding?  What is known is that the WB Finance Committee members are all logsaw competitors.